They Will Finally See
by brenstal
Summary: Jacob commits suicide after sending a bunch of media outlets videos of the bullying that goes on at McKinley. This fic deals with the aftermath. AU after Prom Queen. Warning for suicide, death-Jacob, bullying, racial/sexual orientation/appearance slurs
1. They Cried for Him

A/N: Warning for suicide, character death (Jacob), bullying, racial/sexual orientation/appearance slurs. This is a fill for the Glee Angst Meme.

Jacob's alarm rang, making him jump from his computer chair. He completely switched off the alarm on his clock, so it wouldn't bother his parents the next day. They wouldn't need to worry about that. He had cleaned his room that Wednesday, and taken his DVDs and books back to the library. He emptied everything from his locker on Thursday. He was ready. Jacob made the last preperations on his computer, and then he got up to crawl out of yesterday's clothes and put on fresh clothes for the new day. It was Friday, so usually Jacob would be making plans for his lonely weekend. Today was different though. He had no plans for after this Friday. He wouldn't need any.

Jacob went into his parent's room and opened the top drawer of their night stand. He remembered when his father had gotten the gun, "just in case" he had said. Jacob checked the chamber for bullets, before pocketed the small gun into his jeans. He walked into the Kitchen to see his Mom and Dad sitting at the kitchen isle sipping on coffee. He poured himself a cup. Jacob schooled his face into a cheerful expression as he was turned toward the coffee machine.

"Sweetheart, do you want a bagel? You're father went to that bakery we like and got fresh bagels for this morning," he turned to see his mother staring at him.

"No, Ma, I'm fine until I get to school. I'm sure I can eat in the cafeteria with my friends. You know how I am after I wake up."

"Oh, well that's fine. You can have one after school for a snack. You'd probably be better off in the mornings if you didn't spend all night on the computer, though. Don't think your father and I don't hear you banging around up there," she smiled knowingly, and Jacob tried to laugh back.

"Don't pick on the boy, Gloria. You remember when we were kids. No worries Jacob, you'll outgrow it when you get your first real job," his father got up to put more coffee in his cup.

Jacob could feel his façade failing. For a brief moment he considered handing his father the gun and letting his parents make everything right again. No, he couldn't. He had everything prepared already. Jacob picked up the backpack that he had left in the kitchen the day before and began walking toward the doors.

"I love you," Jacob yelled before he went outside. He stayed in the doorway until he heard them both say it back.

Jacob felt the gun in his jean pocket all day. Prom was coming up that weekend, and the classes were winding down. The idiot teachers showed videos and prepared for final tests. The hallways were the same battlefields they always were, with slushies flying and unpopular kids grabbed up for the next humiliating blow. But this day Jacob didn't feel like the whiny, pathetic loser he usually felt like at school. He felt powerful. He could shoot the Cheerios who laughed in the corner, muttering something about his "Jewfro". He could finally make sure those jocks never treated him like trash again.

His new found confidence must have been an annoyance to Azimio and a couple of the hockey jocks, because they caught him from behind after fifth period. He tried to run, but it was no match for the girthy, barbaric jocks. They pulled him through the halls, their intimidating stares daring him to scream. When they had him outside at the dumpter, practically carrying his limp weight, they heaved him up and threw him inside.

"That's what you get for bein' a loser in my school," Azimio called from the outside. Jacob, sitting in day-old cottage cheese and thrown-out plastics, heard one of them beat on the metal side before their voices started moving farther away, toward the parking lot.

Jacob pulled out the gun. He stuck his head out, seeing that the parking lot was empty except for the three jocks advancing toward a nasty old pick-up truck. He aimed the gun at the jocks. He removed the safety, hearing the stark click.

Then he watched them get into the pick-up truck and drive away. Of course he couldn't pull the trigger; he was just the coward behind the camera. He was the one who watched people get humiliated and abused everyday, but never told a soul for fear of more bullying happening to him.

He was beyond retribution now. He had over thirty emails written on his computer, on a timer to be sent at the end of the school day or when he activated it with his cell phone. Each email had a painful suicide note and every video of extreme bullying that he could find on his harddrive linked. All the media outlets would get his message: national and local, tv and radio, down to the bloggers and online magazines. Lima, Ohio, would finally feel ashamed of what they did and failed to stop. People would have sympathy for him. He pulled his phone out and sent his computer the call it was primed to wait on. Right at that moment the emails were being sent. He felt the rush of energy as he saw his planning come to its finale.

He slunk back into the dumpster as he heard the deep voices of more jocks coming outside. He stared at his gun, preparing himself for what would happen next. At least it would be these cruel people who found him, not his mother or father. His parents could take comfort in each other. His younger siblings would be better off without him. When they got to high school, it would be a safer place thanks to what he was about to do. He didn't have friends, only people who laughed at his blog then ignored him at school. Rachel didn't love him; she would never return his feelings. He didn't matter to anyone. Dying would be his biggest accomplishment.

Jacob put the gun to the side of his head. He took a moment to feel the steal against his temple, the power that he held in his right hand. His finger lingered on the trigger, and his heart leapt. He felt his stomach churn. There was no backing down, not when he had gotten this far. He let his finger apply the tiniest pressure.

A sharp bang roared through the school. There were screams and police officers and crying. Jacob would never know that people cried over him.


	2. Google Alerts

A/N: I have a chunk of this written at livejournal already, so several updates are probably going to go up in a row right now.

Rachel leaned forward in her wooden desk, watching the movie plot get deeper. Her fellow students, less appreciative of acting and drama, threw rubber bands at the projector screen and whispered to each other. Then, annoyingly, the frazzled sound of the intercom interrupted the final monologue of the heroine. The teacher clicked out of the movie quickly, leaving the room silent except for the shuffles of sound before Figgins began to speak.

"We are in a Code 4. I repeat, Code 4. Please follow written directions on your emergency plan sheet." Mr. Figgin's voice sounded shaky and formal over the intercom. Rachel's English teacher dug through her cluttered desk for the emergency sheet.

"Ok kids, it looks like I need you all to get against that wall there, and I need a couple people to pull down the curtains and lock the door."

Usually Rachel would be very willing to volunteer to whatever a teacher asked, but she paused at this request. The Emergency plans were only used in extreme weather or threat of violence, and today was a sunny, beautiful day. Maybe it was only a drill. It's not like anything actually happened in Lima, Ohio.

At first Rachel sat upright against the wall, listening intently to the noises out the window. There were sirens and talking, but the sound died down after a while. Rachel wondered what could have happened. It was probably some prank, or maybe an accident in one of the Gym classes. Eventually, she calmed down. She hid herself in a corner of the classroom, allowing her iPod to shuffle through Broadway classics as she imagined herself performing each number to a crowd of cultured enthusiasts. An hour later, school was dismissed early. A group text from Finn saying that Glee was canceled, followed by many of the Glee members responding, left her at ease that at least her friends were safe.

She had invited Mercedes and Kurt to her house earlier to practice singing and just spend time together. Jesse coming back into her life was really confusing for her, and she needed friends. So, hopefully, she could still look forward to being with them, even if she was upset that Mr. Shue would cancel Glee club so soon before Nationals. Where were his priorities?

Rachel went out to the parking lot to go to her car, but strangely the teachers were rerouting everyone away from the main entrance and toward a side door of the school. The way to the dumpster was blocked by a huge barricade when she got outside. A crowd had formed along the barricade, trying to peek in. Rachel was beyond being a mindless onlooker. She could just find out from Mercedes later, or stoop to reading Jacob Ben Israel's blog. She just drove home, not overly concerned.

"Dads, I'm home," Rachel screamed into the house. She walked through the living room and kitchen, checking to see if she could see either of them, "anyone else here?" She was accustomed to her dads being home when she got there. Of course, school had gotten out unexpectedly early. She began fixing herself a snack, before she realized that she should email her dads to make sure they didn't worry about her. She put some carrots and celery on her plate, then hurried upstairs to her room. She pulled out her laptop, and opened it to reveal her email client.

She was about to begin her message to her dads when she noticed a bunch of Google Alerts in her inbox. When she opened one there were new search results for the term "rachel berry" listed in the email. Rachel stared at her computer, confused, as she looked at the list of websites who were suddenly talking about her. They weren't related to show choir or dancing, so she didn't understand. Maybe someone else with her name was getting attention? She clicked on a link to check.

When the page opened she realized that this was some kind of school watch-dog group. The header of the website asked, "Are your kids really safe?" She scrolled down to the center text, and found a picture of Jacob Ben Israel. Well, this might be the right Rachel Berry after all.

"This seventeen year old boy killed himself today." She gasped. What? That had to be a lie. "He was led to suicide because of the incompetence and neglect of school officials to make him feel safe. Below we have his suicide note that he asked to be shared in its entirety, along with video evidence of the terror that goes on in his school, William McKinley High School. I was shocked by what I've seen in these tapes, and I agree with Jacob that everyone needs to see…"

Rachel began to scroll down, her disbelief wavering, when the sound of the doorbell ringing made her jump in her chair. Right, Kurt and Mercedes. She hurried down the stairs to let them in.


	3. Disgusting and Broken

"No, I swear, Kurt. My math class is right next to the parking lot. I know I heard a gunshot." Mercedes watched her friend behind the wheel of his car. She had been anxious since she heard the loud bang. Even after the teachers had assured them that there was no danger, Mercedes had been on edge. She watched, frustrated, as Kurt's expression remained neutral. He kept his eyes on the road. "You should be freaking out! Gunshots. At McKinley."

"Mercedes, it was probably some idiot playing a prank. Maybe they just put firecrackers outside to scare people. If there was a crazed killer roaming the school earlier, I think I would have notice." Kurt was using his dismissive voice, but Mercedes could hear doubt seeping in. There had been police officers and the scene was so official and scary. There was no use talking about it if Kurt wasn't willing to speculate, though, so Mercedes just folded her arms and stared indignantly out the window.

By the time they were at Rachel's doorstep, they had moved on to a debate over whether leopard skin ever went out of style. Mercedes was pretty sure it never did. They paused immediately when Rachel opened the door, her face sunken into a deep frown and her eyes vulnerable.

"You need to come upstairs," she began, running ahead of them. They followed her confused.

"Rachel? Did Jesse do something again? Because the boys didn't beat him up last time, but I sure as hell will if he's pulling crap," Mercedes stomped up after her.

"No. Just, I have to show you," Rachel didn't turn around. She just ran back to her room, Mercedes and Kurt at her heel.

"I found this website today." Rachel moved the laptop onto her bed, positioning it so she, Kurt, and Mercedes could all sit on the bed and gather around the screen. "It says that Jacob Ben Israel committed," Rachel paused. In a lower tone, she breathed, "suicide. It has his note and videos.'"

Jacob's note sounded so personal that Mercedes had to believe it was real. He wrote it in sections, labeling each to a different group in his life. He wrote apologetically to his family and friends. He mentioned Rachel by name, saying that even though she didn't like him much, he had always been in love with her. Mercedes reached her hand to rub Rachel's shoulder, and she could feel the girl's shuttered breaths under her touch. Rachel pulled away from the comforting hand.

Then, the note shifted to the people who he blamed. Jacob condemned the bullies for their brutality and ruthlessness, then he wrote an equally scathing letter to all the people who watched it happen but did nothing. So many people had been to his blog, and nothing had changed. He wrote that the more disturbing he became, the greater his traffic on the blog. He was angry with everyone who visited. Mercedes bit her lip, guilty. He wrote that he hated himself for his part in it all. Jacob ended the note by saying, "I hope that my death will finally make people notice how disgusting and broken this town is."

Under the letter, there were a bunch of short video clips. Rachel scrolled down, and moved the cursor to the play button of the first video.

"Rachel, stop. We don't need to see that." Kurt spoke, his eyes misted over with unshed tears. Mercedes reached over to intertwine her hand with his. She tried to be reassuring. Mercedes hating seeing that pain in her friends faces. Reading the letter had already hurt so much. The bullying he talked about, Mercedes had experienced that too. She had felt her shield of comebacks and attitude breaking after that final fat joke at the end of the day. If she had been pushed a little harder, or had a little less love in her life to counteract all that hate, this note could have been from her.

"I'm watching them," Rachel's voice was determined. "Guys, we have to. Don't you remember when he helped us qualify for Sectionals last year? He needs us to do this."

"No, Rachel, he doesn't." Kurt reached out and put his hand on top of Rachel's. "We know what's going to be there. We live it. So, just, lets go get some water in the kitchen and talk for a while. Then, later, we can watch."

Mercedes heard the sound of the mouse click under Rachel's finger. Kurt pulled his hand away, making a quiet, startled sound as the video began playing. Mercedes stared up at the screen, unable to disrespect Jacob by turning away.

_A zoomed in close-up of Jacobs face appeared, lockers lined up behind him. "This is Jacob Ben Israel, freshman reporter at McKinley High School. It's a brand new school year, and I've gained an exclusive with-"___

_"Man, what's this? Fresh meat in our halls?" A deep voice could be heard behind the camera.___

_Jacob frowned, looking forward at something off camera. His eyes widened, and he looked scared. "What? No. I was just-"___

_"Filming us with your pervy camera. that's what you were just doing!" Jacob was stepping backwards now, the camera shaking more as he moved.___

_"Damn right! Puckerman, want to show this piece of shit what we do to pervs at McKinley?" The camera swiveled around, and images blurred as it was unable to focus. After a second of movement, the video cut out._

Now that they had begun, there was an obligation to watch the rest. Mercedes felt Kurt lean against her side. He squeezed her hand tightly. Rachel sat stoically at their right. Rachel scrolled down to the next video, and Mercedes held her breath in anticipation.

_A younger Kurt placed his books in his locker, unaware of the three plotting jocks behind him. The hallway was almost empty. Kurt closed his locker, a stack of textbooks in his arms. Before he could turn around, the jocks had formed a semicircle around him. When Kurt turned around, he froze. The camera was just close enough to make out his expression flicker with alarm before he made his best attempt at apathy.___

_"Excuse me, primates. But I need to reschedule whatever this is." Kurt tried to sidestep them, but they had him cornered. One of the jocks raised his hand violently, causing Kurt to leap backwards into a locker behind him.___

_The jock closest to the camera pushed the books out of Kurt's hands, making them fall to the floor. "Late for some fag orgy?" The jocks sneered.___

_"I'm not gay," Kurt said defensively.___

_Suddenly, a female teacher came down the hall. The jocks scattered, leaving Kurt to bend down and pick up his books. The teacher kept walking, hardly giving a glance to the bullying._

No one said anything as Rachel continued through the videos. Jacob taped himself being ridiculed for everything from the way he talked to the way his hair looked. People on camera called him "Jewfro" more than they called him by his name. Jacob also seemed concentrated on the Glee Club. Mercedes watched herself and her friends getting thrown around and pushed. Each attack was more disturbing. When had they allowed themselves to accept this level of violence in their own school?

It almost made sense, how much Jacob had seemed focused on them. Mercedes had looked at Jacob like he was a mini-tabloid writer, just looking for sensationalism. But she could see how he was crying for help through the videos. He followed the rejects around, capturing their lives and hardships. So many of the things he filmed were grotesque when she saw them as an outsider would. Why hadn't anyone stopped this?


	4. Scroll Click

_Artie's pushed down a staircase. The video cuts out as he's trying to drag himself to his wheelchair.  
><em>  
>Scroll. Click.<p>

_A very pregnant Quinn gets slushied from all sides while tall, angry jocks yell "slut" and "bitch."  
><em>  
>Scroll. Click.<p>

_A car drives by the school parking lot, and colorful balloons fly out the back windows. They're all aimed at Kurt. Yellow liquid breaks out of the balloons, soaking Kurt's clothes. He starts gagging as he runs into the school to avoid any more hits. "Taste our piss, fairy!"_

Scroll. Click.

_Tina's in her Gaga-inspired bubble costume when Karofsky comes up behind her and pushes her against the wall in the middle of a crowded hallway. No one says anything except Kurt.  
><em>  
>Scroll. Click.<p>

_Jacob records himself being shoved into a portable toilet, locked inside, and rolled down a hill. The camera lens gets so stained that it becomes dark. All that can be heard is Jacob's desperate banging on the locked door.  
><em>  
>Scroll. Click.<p>

Beyond the occasional "go away" and "get that camera out of my face," Kurt hadn't talked to Jacob much. When he did, it was always hostile, a reaction to a news-report style ambush meant to humiliate him. Kurt thought Jacob was weird and annoying. He had never seen Jacob as just a bullied kid like him.

Jacob didn't have the support system that Kurt had. Jacob mostly talked to people over a camera, using his celebrity journalist persona. He was hiding under this thick mask; no one did anything but roll their eyes and walk away. Kurt knew so much about building a protective outer shell and keeping up a brave face. He saw his own feelings reflected in Jacob's anger and alienation. People who loved him reached out when he was at his lowest point. His family and friends helped him get better. It's not that Kurt blamed anyone for Jacob's death, but he passed Jacob everyday in the halls. If he had really stopped to look at the boy he could have been the one to reach out. Now Jacob was beyond his grasp.

Kurt really didn't want to be sitting on Rachel's tacky pink sheets watching videos of himself being tossed into dumpsters, slammed against walls, and called every derogatory, homophobic name that the collective jock population could think of. At first he had been appalled, seeing things like an outside observer and understanding what his classmates had been willing to just ignore. Now it just presented as numbness. This was his life, and now it was on the internet. Great.

They were almost to the bottom of the page. Rachel continued going down, hardly pausing between videos. They weren't talking to each other. Mercedes was holding tight to Kurt hand, and they were squeezed together. He felt comforted by Mercedes's warm, solid presences against his side. Sometimes she stroked her thump against his hand when the videos were of him. He heard Rachel, on Mercedes's other side, sniffing and breathing unevenly.

Scroll. Click.

_The camera starts shakily before it settles. There is a cracked door, allowing the camera to peek through to a row of lockers. It's the boy's locker room. The picture becomes crisp. Kurt is standing in front of Karofsky. They're yelling and leaning into each other aggressively._

Well crap. Kurt felt Mercedes thumb rubbing his hand in comforting strokes. She didn't know what was about to happen. Kurt turned to the girls, trying to think of an excuse that would make them stop. Karofsky doesn't deserve to get outed like this. His mouth became dry, and he couldn't think of an excuse that would trump Jacob's dying wish. He just turned back to the screen, letting the video continue.

_The camera stays still enough to start picking up words. Kurt is yelling now. "…by the time they're thirty."_

_Karofsky lifts up his fist threateningly. "Do not push me Hummel."_

_"You gunna hit me? Do it."_

_"Don't push me-"_

_"Hit me. 'Cause it's not going to change who I am. You can't punch the gay out of me anymore than I can punch the ignoramus out of you."_

_"Get out of my face!" Karofsky screeches. His face contorts into an exasperated, angry expression._

Kurt grabbed Mercedes's hand with both of his, pulling it closer toward him. He was going to let them watch, because it was on the internet. He doesn't really have a choice anymore.

_"You are nothing but a scared little boy who can't handle how extraordinarily ordinary you are."_

_Then Karofsky lunges at Kurt, pulling Kurt into a sloppy, angry kiss. Jacob's gasp is heard behind the camera, and it shakes a little before becoming still. Karofsky lets go, then leans forward again. Kurt pushes him away; the smaller boy has his hand in front of his mouth, his expression confused and hurt._

_Karofsky beats the locker before beginning to move toward to door. The camera begins to move quickly, blurring before the scene cuts out._

Rachel didn't scroll to next video. Mercedes stared dumb-struck at the screen.

"Oh, hell no. Hell. No." Mercedes turned to Kurt. She pulled her hand away to gesture at the screen. Her lips are turned into a snarl and her eyes are fiery. "Why didn't you tell me about this?"

"I dealt with it." He could hear how small his voice was, even though he was trying for something more confident. He felt bad now that he saw how much this hurt her, but he had his reasons for not telling. Not the least of which was protecting her from trying to take on a two hundred pound hockey player by herself.

"You dealt with it? How? Some giant forces you into a kiss and you didn't say anything. Then he threatened to kill you." Mercedes lost steam, and her face becoming vulnerable, "You just let yourself be in pain."

"He threatened to kill you if you told anyone, didn't he?" Rachel was looking at him over Mercedes shoulder, her brown eyes staring into his face earnestly. "That's why you didn't feel safe here."

Kurt nodded, "I'm safe now. Dave apologized. He's trying to be better."

"He apologized? The boy attacks you and an apology is going to make that go away? I'm pissed on your behalf."

"He was actually sorry. You didn't see his face. Mercedes, it's hard being gay in this town. It's really hard. Just give him a break." Kurt crossed his arms in front of his chest protectively. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."

Mercedes pulled him into a hug, and Rachel reached her hand out to rub him on the back. Mercedes said, half muffled by his shoulder, "Fine. But if you hide anything that big again than it's you who's going to get a face full of Mercedes ass kicking. You're my best friends; tell me when things are bad."

They pulled apart and resumed where they left off. The next few videos are similar to the others. More slushies, more shoves, more nasty, crushing name-calling. Kurt felt like he'd gotten through the worst of the footage, when there's another video between him and Karofsky. It was too far away to make out any words, but close enough that both the girls could see Kurt shake as Karofsky grabbed the cake topper out of his hand. Mercedes holds on to Kurt's hand harder, and Rachel gasps. At the end of the video Mr. Shue, who had been talking to a student near by the entire time, finally approaches Kurt and leads him away. Kurt felt like he was going to have to defend his choices again, but Rachel just clicked the next video without comment.

When they got to the end, Kurt felt horrible. It was different to see the actions happen on camera, removed from being there. Everything was so much more violent.

"Jacob sent these videos to people." Kurt stated, finally realizing the ramifications of these videos gaining attention. He was pretty sure when his dad hears about bullying in high school, he never thinks of this.

Rachel nodded, "The introduction said that he sent it to them. He wanted everyone to see, remember?"

"It's just a random website, Kurt." Mercedes said. "Who's really heard of this site anyway? No one paid attention when Jacob posted half of this crap on his blog."

"But what if this spreads? My dad can't see this." Kurt looked at his watch. Two hours had passed since he had come to Rachel's house. "Damn, my dad. We have family dinner tonight at my house. I need to go." He lifted himself off Rachels bed, "Are you coming, Mercedes?"

Mercedes shook her head. "No, I'm going to stay with Rachel. You go be with your family. We need to meet up tomorrow, though. To talk about this."

Through Friday Night Dinner Kurt kept thinking about Jacob. He must have been so upset for such a long time, and no one noticed. Finn told Dad and Carol about the emergency at school, and all the rumors he had heard about what had happened. Kurt was pretty sure he knew what happened. He suspected that Jacob killed himself at the school, and that was the gunshot Mercedes had been talking about. The police blocking off scene made more sense that way.

Kurt excused himself early. He had a headache and felt nauseous, so it wasn't really a lie to tell his family that he was sick. He curled into a ball in his bed, letting himself drift into an uneasy sleep.


	5. The News Report

Hearing the coffee pot finish pouring, Carol made herself a big cup of coffee. It was a sunny morning. When she walked into the living room she could feel the rising sun through the glass of the window. She was still in her house robe and slippers, but it wasn't a priority to get changed. Saturday was her day off, and she was going to relax. Later, she would be watching her baby prepare for the junior prom. It all left her with a warm, content feeling. Carol sat on the couch. She grabbed the remote and pressed the power button. It was already turned to a news program on one of the 24 hour news channels, so she just let the bold voice of the news host hum in the background.

The newsman's voice shifted to a more serious tone, causing her to begin listening. "Our high school years are usually a fantastic time of memories and friendships. However, for some students high school can be a dangerous, cruel place. One bullied seventeen year old from Ohio has gained attention in the worst way imaginable. More after the break."

Carol's interest was piqued. She always was a little more interested when Ohio made the news. Aside from the election season, her state rarely made it onto the national stage. She waited for the ads about diabetes testing, AARP, and television shows to finish. The camera panned over the studio before coming back to the host.

"High school should be a carefree time of self discovery. However, for Jacob Ben Israel from Lima, Ohio, high school was a painful place full of insults and violence. Sadly, Jacob was found dead yesterday from a fatal, self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head. He committed suicide in the school that he described as the reason for his misery. Melissa Rogers has the story."

Carol stared blankly at the screen. They said Lima, Ohio. This poor boy lived in her town. Carol placed her mug on the coffee table, giving the television complete attention. The show cut to video of students, their faces blurred. Seeing the letterman jackets really hit home for her. Her son wore that jacket. She had hardly paid attention to the voice over at first, but caught pieces of it.

"…McKinley is renowned for their nationally recognized cheerleading team, excelling show choir, and academic team. However, underneath this picture of normality in the middle of suburban Ohio, there is a high school culture of violence and fear."

Carol was captivated by the images being shown on the screen. Though their faces were blurred over to prevent them from being identified, Carol recognized many members of the football team through body type and clothes. She watched them shoving and throwing slushies at other students. She was appalled. How could this even be real? The screen changed to a scene in front of a dumpster. A group of letterman jackets were surrounding a smaller boy in a bow tie with long black boots. He threw his bag—Wait, that was Kurt's bag. Kurt's bow tie. That was Kurt.

She rewound the video, watching the footage again. Kurt was surrounded by jocks. He threw his satchel to someone, then the large boys hoist him up into the dumpster. She watched them close the lid before they started high fiving.

She rewound again. Kurt was standing in the middle of four jocks. He threw his satchel to a boy in a letterman jacket. A tall boy with an awkward stance. Her eyes grew wide. That was Finn helping throw his stepbrother away like trash. She can only stare at her faceless son as he high fives another boy with darker skin who walks with smugness and intimidation. Of course that would be Noah.

She rewound a third time, watching her three boys. Kurt stood a lot taller now, so she wouldn't have been surprised if the video was a year or two old. That didn't reassure her as she watched Kurt's lack of response to being thrown like a ragdoll and the body language of superiority as Finn and Noah walked away. Was this normal? How many times did someone have to be treated like trash before they became compliant and don't fight back when they're thrown away? How many times had her son watched this happen then celebrated afterward?

The video continued. There was more shoving. She recognized Quinn, filmed on the side so that her pregnant belly was fully visible, get slushies thrown over her body. The voice narrating the videos said that "derogatory, sexist" language was used after this attack. Carol rewound the program many times, concentrating on the bodies that she recognized. Her stepson getting pushed and tripped and hurt. Her son, throwing slushies and standing by as kids were bullied. Eventually this shifted, and she saw another jock put his foot out and trip Finn. She saw her son get a drink thrown in his face. After a few times through, she noticed the teachers who are in the background, looking away. Where was the letter home to tell her Finn was harassing other students so she could stop this? Where was the concerned phone call asking if Kurt was okay? Where were the people who she trusted with her boys?

Carol heard Burt pour a cup of coffee in the kitchen behind her. Good, he would need it before she showed him this.


	6. Guilt

The videos were chopped into a montage of violent content with a clear voice narrating the scenes. It was really only a three minute news story, but it felt like it lasted so much longer. The reporters probably cycled through other stories and then came back to "The Lima Bullying Scandal," but Burt could hardly finish this news clip. He could see his little boy getting thrown around and destroyed.

At first Burt felt angry. His muscles tensed. He snarled. He considered taking a crowbar to every athlete who had ever touched his child, then setting the principal's car on fire. He thought about calling each teacher individually and teaching them a loud, memorable lesson on acceptance. Carol railed against that no-good, useless school system who didn't notice the horror that was happening in their halls. They commiserated together.

Eventually, they became more subdued. Burt could still feel his chest twist as he and Carol watched the news clip again. They spoke more practically about where their family would go from there. They sat close together on the couch for an hour, discussing what they would do.

Burt hung his head, "I just feel so damn guilty. I knew that something was wrong, even before that Karofsky kid really started targeting him. Before me and you met, some of those delinquents came to our house and nailed all our lawn furniture to our roof when we weren't home. Did I ever tell you that? You should have seen Kurt's face when we were working on getting it all down. He blamed himself for it, and I didn't want to make him more upset so I let him avoid talking to me about it." He rubbed his hands over his face, sighing. "I just always assumed it was more verbal, people calling him names and being asses. Kurt's got such a mouth on him I figured he could give as good as he got. But if he's being shoved and thrown around, I mean he's so little and thin."

"Burt, you couldn't have know this was happening," Carol looked at the screen. "I'm so sorry for what Finn did." Carol's voice was somber. Ever since Burt had kicked Finn out over his homophobic argument with Kurt, there had always been a tension when they talked about Finn. He could feel that between them now, that hesitation.

"He's the only one who can apologize for himself." He grabbed Carol's hand, "But I love that boy now; I love him like he's my son. I know he made mistakes, and they're obviously worse mistakes than what we thought. But he's grown so much, Carol. We'll sit them down and have it out with them, then we'll move on as a family." He saw Carol's grateful, tentative smile. They were going to get through this, and it was going to make them stronger.

Burt believed that honesty was what kept a family together. That's why he always insisted on Friday Night Dinner and Kurt's working at the garage. He wanted to be a part of his son's life. When his son started pulling away in middle school, it was hard for him to handle. Burt wasn't good at talking about feelings, so it was hard for him to breech these important topics with Kurt. He had let his discomfort with emotional subjects create a wedge. Kurt was so closed off from him now, trapped in a heavy storm but too stubborn to ask for help.

Carol put her arm around Burt, rubbing comforting circles into his shoulder. They left the screen paused on the news story, and silently sunk into their own thoughts. Burt thought about all the times that Kurt had gone to school in one outfit and come home in another. At the time he had considered that kids might be playing tricks on Kurt, but nothing serious. Besides, he also though that Kurt just liked changing up his look midday. He also reflected on all those nights Kurt spend in the basement alone.

Burt looked up at the paused screen, breaking the thick silence. "Sometimes Kurt would come home so dejected that it would break my heart. I knew something was wrong. I should have pushed him to tell me what was bothering him."

Carol nodded. "Finn's always been so impressionable. I could have paid more attention to what his friends where dragging him into. I think there's enough guilt to go around."

The sound of Kurt's alarm clock beeping caused them to become quiet again. Burt listened to the sounds upstairs. He could hear Kurt's light footsteps, and eventually Finn's heavy steps. The boys would be coming downstairs soon.


	7. It Was Just Bullying

Finn woke up slowly to the sound of the shower roaring in Kurt's bathroom. He stayed in his warm bed, letting wakefulness tug at him until he finally felt too energetic to stay still any longer. He sat up, faced with the tux he and Burt had gotten a couple days before.

Today was the big day: Junior Prom! He was more anxious than excited about it. Quinn was turning the whole thing into a big campaign, rather than a day to dance badly and laugh with his friends. He also had to sing for Mr. Shue's prom band agreement. At some point the dance had become more of an obligation than a rite of passage for him. It wasn't all bad, though. He got to go tux shopping with Burt, which had turned into a great time to bond with his stepdad. He would still get to be with his friends after he finish handing out the Queen Quinn stickers to potential voters. Even though Quinn was kind of scary-obsessed over getting crowned, he was still lucky to have such a pretty, popular girlfriend. Yeah, things were good.

He staggered into his bathroom to quickly brush his teeth. As he stood in front of the mirror, Finn heard his stomach growl. He was kind of hungry. It had been like ten hours since he last ate.

Finn ran downstairs to the kitchen. At first he grabbed two apples from the fruit bowl and put them on the kitchen counter. He could eat them later, but he really wanted meat. He opened the fridge and grabbed the container of leftover lasagna from the top shelf. He let the fridge fall closed as he went across the room to get a fork. There was no point in heating the pasta up in the microwave; cold food was delicious. He just shoved fork fulls into his mouth and let his tongue roll over the bits of sausage in the sauce.

Kurt came down as he ate. Finn tried to hide the Tupperware container, but Kurt just rolled his eyes. The other teenager, with his hair still wet from his shower, grabbed one of the apples Finn had left out.

"Hey, I was gunna eat that," Finn said through the pasta already in his mouth.

"Well, you were busy contaminating the leftover lasagna with your spit, so now I'm taking it." Kurt shrugged, "seriously, you better finish that. I'm not eating after you." Kurt walked out into the living room where their parents were. Finn heard Kurt ask if Burt was ok.

"Actually, Buddy, I think we really need to talk." Burt raised his voice to address Finn, "Can you come in here, Finn? This concerns you too."

Finn brought the lasagna with him. He sat next to his mom, but against the arm of the couch. Mom looked angry and serious. Finn hated that look; it almost always meant that he was in trouble.

"Apparently yesterday something happened. Lima was on the news." Mom's face scrunched into a frown, "Boys, someone from your school named Jacob Ben Israel killed himself. And he sent a bunch of tapes to a news station." She looked into Finn's face. He probably didn't look too sad. He was a little shocked about Jacob, but he didn't know the kid so what was he supposed to feel? She reached for the remote, "I think you both should just watch this."

The video played. Finn wasn't sure if he should stare at the video or his mom's reactions to it. There, on screen, was him picking on kids. It's not like his mom wouldn't recognize him, even if the news people had blocked out his face. He saw himself throwing slushies and standing around while the guys hurt people. Of course, most of the videos were of other jocks. Still, had he really done it that many times? It hadn't really seemed like so much at the time, but the reporter lady made all the bullying seem all violent.

Oh no. That was him tossing Kurt into a dumpster. He glanced over to Burt, who turned at the same time toward him. Burt's eyes were so intense that Finn just turned back to the screen. The news story wasn't even that long. He looked to his mother beside him. He was definitely in trouble.

Burt sighed. "Neither of you told us about this. How often does this kind of violence happen at McKinley?"

Finn and Kurt remained quiet for a while. Finn felt the pressure of the unbroken silence, and his mom stared at him. "I mean, I guess it happens sometimes. But mom, I stopped doing it. I know that looks really bad, but I haven't done anything like that at all this year."

"Finn, why would you hurt them to begin with? I've always raised you to respect people." Carol stared at her son stonily, demanding an answer.

"I don't know, mom. It's just, everyone else was. But I stopped. I wore a shower curtain and got slushied and stood up for Kurt. I haven't really done anything to anyone in a long time, right Kurt?"

"Yes. Carol, don't be too angry with Finn. He was usually kind of nice about it." Finn hadn't actually looked over at Kurt after the tapes played. He had been so concerned about what his mom would say. Now that he had his eyes on Kurt, felt his heart drop. Kurt was sort of crushed in on himself. He stared at the armchair fabric, avoiding looking up at his father. His arms were sort of out in his lap, with one arm crossing his chest and rubbing the other one. He looked toward Finn, but not in Finn's eyes. Finn could see his eyes becoming shiny with tears, but Kurt looked like he was trying to shove his emotions back and pretend to be normal. Finn could see his hand tighten around his arm.

"What? He didn't look like he was being nice, Kurt. How long have you been hiding this? I thought you were okay." Burt wasn't yelling, which should have put Finn at ease. It didn't. Burt was talking quietly to Kurt, crouching a little in his seat to try to catch Kurt's eyes.

Kurt's eyes met his father's, and he sat up a little straighter. "I am okay. It was just bullying. I can handle it." His voice was quiet, with a forced nonchalance that didn't hide the undertone of pain.

"No you can't." Burt reached out and grabbed Kurt's hand, "And you don't have to. What's happening at that school is a joke. This is illegal, Kurt."

"Not when you're the only out gay kid in this whole bigoted town." Kurt pulled his hand away. "Not when you're a loser. Dad, this is just how my life was for a while. No one cared."

"We would have cared." Carol said hesitantly.

The room became silent as everyone reeled in their emotions.

"It's just, it wasn't always that bad. In elementary school they just thought I was weird. Than in junior high they realized what 'gay' meant, and suddenly they had a label to taunt me with. Then the jocks grew muscles and started driving trucks, and they needed the power trip." Finn saw him start digging his nails into his outstretch arm again. Kurt's voice trembled. "I don't know when it went from people calling me names to people throwing me in dumpsters. By the time I realized that I was drowning it felt like it was too late to ask for help." Finn watched Kurt sink into the armchair. "I can't believe I was stupid enough to let them make me think this was normal."

"It's not your fault; it's there's. No kid should be facing this at school. I can't believe this was allowed to happen is a school. Kurt, you're so strong, but you need to talk to me if something is happening to you. I want to be there for you." Burt's eyes stayed on Kurt, waiting for his response.

"I won't let it get like that again." Kurt said. He looked tired. Burt turned his gaze to Finn, who had been watching the father and son the whole time. Finn swallowed hard. This was going to turn back to him now, wasn't it?

"And what were you thinking? What went through your head when you decided it was okay to act this way?"

"I don't know. It's just… I was the quarterback. I had to have the cheerleader girlfriend and the tough friends or I lost everything."

"Everything?" his mom's voice was harsh. Her eyes looked at him sadly. "Finn, you lost something when you did this: integrity, trustworthiness, compassion." Woe. Those were some big words from Mom. He got the idea. He messed up, and she was disappointed.

"I said I didn't do it anymore, not since sophomore year. I just never really thought about how much the bullying did to other people. For the jocks it's something that happens really fast. We laughed then we forgot about it. But when I first got slushied, it felt really bad. It hurt, like the coldness and the stickiness. But it was embarrassing too. People laughed at me for days, and they made jokes. I never thought I hurt people like that."

"So, you really don't do it anymore?"

"No, mom. When I joined Glee, I started getting to know all the people we called losers. Mom, they're awesome. So, I stopped. And it was hard, because the other guys became really mean. They pushed me around and called me-" he looked between Burt and Carol. "…bad stuff. But I started getting better."

Carol pulled him closer to her on the couch. Now that he had convinced their parents that he wasn't a psycho, he looked up to the screen. It was paused on a slushie attack. He used to do that. So many of the friends he had now had accepted him without hating him over bullying them. Kurt was even his brother now. They did brotherly things like drinking warm milk together and singing. He was lucky.

He looked over at Kurt, who had rediscovered his interest in the arm of his chair. "I'm really sorry, Kurt. What I did then, it was never ok. You don't deserve that."

Kurt looked startled. His head jerked up and he let out a shuttered breath as he stared at Finn thoughtfully. "You never really apologized for all of it before." His voice was quiet. Finn's eyes locked with Kurt, and he could see Kurt's approving smile. "I already forgave you. But, thanks. It's nice to hear you really say it."

Carol wiped her eyes, and Burt cleared his throat.

Carol clapped her hands. "Ok, so me and Burt already talked before you both woke up. This family has to change, because this can't happen again. You both will tell us what's actually happening at school."

Burt nodded. He gruffly added, "Kurt, don't think I would hesitate to put you back in Dalton if I thought you were unsafe. I would find a way. There will be no more bullying or silent martyrdom. Finn, you either. I want my kids being treated with respect."

Carol nodded. "Finn, you've grown so much. We aren't going to take away any privileges, but if we ever see you treating someone like that again it will be dealt with." She gave him a practiced, fear-inducing glance.

"We're having dinner as a family tonight, and for the foreseeable future. Get use to this face, boys, because it's getting even more involved in your lives." Burt finished. They were really well prepared. It was intense, like tag team parenting.

Kurt sighed. Finn wanted to argue, but his objections died in his throat. By silent agreement, the Hummel-Hudson family broke apart to their separate places to think. Finn went to his room, and everyone left the living room. To Finn, it felt like the television was toxic. But good, too. He hadn't even realized that he had been carrying around guilt over his past bullying, but he felt better now that it was out there.

Finn got a text message from Puck: "can i com ovr 2 yur plce?"

"yeah, dude. it's hevy here tho"

"Ma's freaked abt news. c u soon."


	8. Not That Guy

Puck was a badass. He'd known it since kindergarten when he beat up a second grader by himself over a juice box. That was the day he became a legend. So, people probably wouldn't think that waking up to his mother's wide eyes, "NOAH GABRIAL PUCKERMAN" just out of her mouth, would have been startling enough to have him accidentally roll off his bed onto the floor. It was.

"Shit, Ma, what's wrong?" he mumbled into the blanket that had tumbled down with him. He assessed himself. Nothing hurt too badly, it was just a jolting way to wake up. Looking up, his Ma was fuming. Her eyes stared down at him judgingly and her face was tight. Today was going to be a bad day.

"Lima's on the news today, Noah. National reporters talking about how bad this town is. How long have you and your crap friends been tossing kids into trash dumpsters? Or shoving them into toilets? Or throwing i pee/i on them?" Her lips were turned in disgust, and her voice was cutting. "How hadn't I expected this, you do everything else that-"

"I was on tv?" he asked dumbly, untangling himself from the blanket and starting to stand up.

"Yes, baby, you were on tv doing the only think you've ever done well," his mom said slowly in a falsely sweet voice, "That is, destroying things. Tons of videos of you throwing kids around and making fun of them. They blurred out your face, thank God, but I can still tell. Noah, I've been so proud of you lately." her voice turned more earnest, leading into the guilt trip Noah had been anticipation. "You've done well. I should have started bracing myself for this backslide. It's inevitable. Your ancestors did not walk across a desert for forty years so that you can lead this kind of crude, disgraceful life."

"No, Ma. I've been trying. God, I haven't even picked on those kids for a year. They have this on tv?" He stood up, putting his hands in front of him, trying to calm his mom down. He could see the stress on her face, and the disappointment. Always crushing disappointment.

"Fine, whatever Noah. I can't even be in this house with you right now. Think of what this does to your sister and me." she tossed a pair of pants at him, which he held defensively to his torso. "Just, get out. I'll call you when I can stand to see that smug face again." She turned around dismissively, leaving him to throw on some clothes and get out of dodge.

He left the apartment. There was no use arguing with his mom when she was like this. There was nothing he would be able to say that she would listen to. When he went towards the door, he could hear his mother in the kitchen ranting into the phone, probably to his Nana.

He walked around his neighborhood for a couple hours. His brain was buzzing, like he couldn't even sit still. Maybe this would have been a wake up call to that punk he was two years ago, but he was a different person now. He hung out with Artie, Kurt was his boy, and he had even dated Rachel. He felt punished for the person he was before. It was the same thing everywhere, really. He tried to turn his behavior around, but teachers still stared at him waiting for him to fuck up and his mom still looked suspicious when he tells her where he's going.

Puck had figured out, sometime into his sophomore year during the baby scandal, that pushing around wimps wasn't really fun anymore. It was probably some combination of joining Glee, being on the receiving end of bullying, and seeing his fragile little girl for the first time that helped him stop. He was just too much of a man to need that kind of thing to make him feel better. He was bigger than all of it. Puck didn't need his mother coming in a year too late to attack him for something that he'd grown out of already.

His mind went through all the people he knew. His sister was such a sweet kid; seeing this kind of think would probably make her scared of high school. His friends would be upset. He looked at any of the adults he passed, wondering if they had been shocked by what was happening at the school. They shouldn't have been. It's not like the jocks had kept it a secret before. Mr. Shue probably felt really bad, seeing as he was so blind to it. Coach Beiste would be angry.

At some point he realized he had subconsciously started to walk toward Finn's house. He shot Finn a heads up text, then continued down the road.

Puck had kind of hoped he could avoid Carol's disappointed gaze when Finn opened the door to let him in, but there she was standing in the living room looking him over. He avoided her eyes and started walking upstairs. Neither Puck nor Finn spoke until they were both safely in Finn's room with the door closed.

"I haven't even seen the news, but this is fucked up." Puck started, sitting on the edge of Finn's bed. Finn took the rolling chair from his desk and moved so they were facing each other. "I'm not even that guy anymore."

"I don't know," Finn seemed hesitant. "What we did, it was really bad. I never even realized how wrong it was. At least McKinley might get better now." Finn swiveled in his chair as he spoke.

"Man, I don't know. I guess this does mean Azimio and the other fuckers on the football team might actually get in trouble," Puck grabbed a football on the floor in front of him and started rolling it in his hands. "The Beiste is gunna go batshit about this."

"Yeah. Meaner than a coyote at a tea party," he said, mimicking Beiste's voice.

Puck smiled appreciatively, before turning more serious. "It's just, my mom was finally getting over the juvie thing and now she's got this to hang over my head. God, I can't wait to graduate and get out."

They were both pulled from their conversations by a knock on the door. It opened slowly to reveal Carol standing in the doorway, the phone in her hand. "I just got a call from the school. It almost goes without saying that prom is canceled." she laughed humorlessly, before letting it die in the air. "Finn, I have some more bad news." she paused, and Puck could see Finn stiffen in front of him. Carol moved toward Finn and put her hand on his shoulder. "Honey, they've suspended you from all extracurricular activities for the rest of the year while they work out a new bullying policy."

Finn sucked in a breath. Puck watched with concern as Finn's eyes became unclear and his face dropped. "But I need to be there for all my friends in Glee. And I'm the quarterback." He rubbed his palms over his temples and hair. "I worked so hard and it's going to be gone now." Puck heard the break in Finn's voice as it became more distressed.

Carol stooped down in front of him, pulling his hands from in front of his face. Puck felt uncomfortable, like he was watching an intimate scene in his friend's life. He schooled his face into a neutral expression, trying not to stare at Finn's distress. Finn wouldn't want to feel pitied.

"Honey, this could have been so much worse. They could have suspended you from school. You can rejoin next year, and it'll be like a new start." She hugged Finn for a moment, and Puck could see Finn lean into his mother's embrace.

She backed away from Finn eventually, so that she could face both of them. "Puck, I feel like your mom will probably get this kind of call eventually too." Her eyebrows turned downward in concern. She knew enough about Puck's life to understand how his mother would react. Growing up, she had been like a second mom to him. There to cheer him up when his own mom didn't come to his games or was in the kind of mood where she didn't want to be around him. Not everyone had a parent who loved easily. He always felt like Carol let him get away with things because she felt bad for him. "You've had problems, but you're young and growing. I love you both no matter what."

Puck stared at the door for a moment after she left. Her words were so encouraging. She always expected him to become a better man. Even after Puck had done so much crap in his life, Carol still loved him. He wouldn't blame her if she never let him in her house, but she was always a rock for him. It had been that way since he and Finn were kids.

Finn was still sitting in his swivel chair, staring miserably at the floor. Puck didn't feel comfortable confronting feelings. Not really. "Man, whatever. It sucks we'll miss nationals, but at least we have next year, right?" His voice was unconvincingly nonchalant. Puck got on the floor in front of Finn's tv, pulling out a couple game controls. "What I really need right now is to shoot some virtual bad guys."

Finn looked up, his face still pulled into a serious expression totally out of place on his usually dopey and awkward best friend. He sat on the floor beside Puck though. "I guess there isn't anything better to do."

They played for a while, not really acknowledging all the heavy feelings in the air. Eventually, Puck's phone buzzed in his pocket. He checked his text messages, even though that gave Finn the tactical advantage to attack his sitting character.

_"Get home now."_

He sighed, feeling his chest sink. It looked like the school got around to calling his house. "Man, I have to go. Ma wants me home."

Puck left the Hummel house and braced himself to see his mom. She would probably just yell at him about how useless and horrible he was. What else was new?


End file.
